Hi. This survey is really important for my dissertation. I will be really grateful If you could answer this.
Please keep in mind that Questions number 1, 2, 3 or 10 need to be answered in yes or no.
Age is a mandatory requirement.
Post answers as comments on the blog or if mailing is a better option for you. Send them across on shubhi.vijay@hotmail.com
Name: Age:
1. Have you read twilight?
2. Are you a fan?
3. Have you read it multiple times?
4. Did you buy your copy off the street or from a bookstore?
5. What do you think is the USP of the series?
6. Did you like the book better than the movie?
7. Which character do you like the most?
8. Do you like the character Edward Cullen or do you like Robert Pattinson, the actor? You can answer neither.
9. Did you read any vampire literature before Twilight? If yes please specify the names of atleast two books.
10. Do you believe in vampires?
11. How did you come to believe in vampires? Through books, movies or other. Please specify.
12. What do you associate vampires with now? Horror or Romance? Please elucidate.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Still quaking, still not prepared
November 26, 2008 is a date etched into too many memories to count. The intangible scars take more time to fade but what are we really doing about the tangible ones?
Mumbai, the financial capital of India and the victim of ten shooting and bombing attacks on the abovementioned date. Life indeed came to a standstill for the city for the three days terror gripped them. The pain of the subway attacks hadn’t precisely faded and misery came knocking again. Why weren’t we prepared? Why weren’t we better equipped for an attack? These questions were asked at that time as well but the lack of answers still haunts. And now we stand almost a year later and the scenario still aches if not more.
Even if you sit in Leopold’s and survey the hustle- bustle of the market or you stop by to grab a slice of blueberry pie from wich latte, this part of Colaba neighbourhood in all its glory still shows smears of the darkness. Be it the bullet marks in Leopold or the guarded cautious glances you catch being thrown across the shoulders they are all a reminder. Taj Hotel with its rigorous security checks and a stone in memory of all those who lost their lives, functions every day but one glance at the sky at the main gate shows you smears of the blood and the recollection comes swiftly.
Ajmal Kasab, the only living accused captured is still undergoing trial. The proceedings started on May 6, 2009. While we were flooded with assurances of him receiving extreme death penalty, what conclusions can be drawn from him still being here? The drama doesn’t seem to end. It might have started with his lawyer’s house being pelted and her giving up the case and another lawyer stepping in. the flip flop about his nationality seems to amuse most. The politics and blame game became more highlighted with Chidambaram’s latest statement. But does the public really need to be reminded of the tragedy by reading about his demands for perfume and evening walks or him shifting jails? Starting with DNA tests to determine his age, the absurdity of it all seems to escape the notice of too many.
David Headley’s arrest on October 3rd is a feat no less but now the flames are rising and who from Bollywood might get burnt hasn’t been disclosed yet. Emran Hashmi has denied all allegations and Rahul Bhatt is doing the same. This recent slur has created quite a storm. Mahesh Bhatt’s son is a fitness instructor and has reiterated his cooperation with the police. So close to the heels of the ghastly event completing one whole year, Bollywood’s glitz is scraping open wounds.
Shivraj Patil, the home minister of India who had resigned taking "moral responsibility" for the incident continues to be a member of the Rajya Sabha. He is still a respected functionary of his party. Although he valued his wardrobe more than the nation’s suffering at that time apparently, Ashok Chavan, the current Chief Minister of the state values Patils’ opinion still. Congress - NCP combine the serving government during the terror attacks continue to be in power. Vilasrao Deshmukh the Chief Minister at the time of Mumbai attacks is now the Minister of Heavy Industries and Public Enterprises and by all accounts enjoying being a cabinet minister. RR Patil, the home minister who had resigned from his post in the aftermath of the Mumbai attacks, has been reinstated as the home minister. What really has changed? Our political parties and leaders are faring the same way, it is only the one who steps into the crowded subway repressing the fear.
Are we enlightened? Currently only of the fact that a police officer goofed up in labeling articles that were seized from Taj Hotel and Nariman House. Aren’t we careful?
While we all wonder are we ready, the waves at Gateway of India continue to crash and the crowd at Leopold’s continues to cheer, a tear is wiped away by the mourners.
Mumbai, the financial capital of India and the victim of ten shooting and bombing attacks on the abovementioned date. Life indeed came to a standstill for the city for the three days terror gripped them. The pain of the subway attacks hadn’t precisely faded and misery came knocking again. Why weren’t we prepared? Why weren’t we better equipped for an attack? These questions were asked at that time as well but the lack of answers still haunts. And now we stand almost a year later and the scenario still aches if not more.
Even if you sit in Leopold’s and survey the hustle- bustle of the market or you stop by to grab a slice of blueberry pie from wich latte, this part of Colaba neighbourhood in all its glory still shows smears of the darkness. Be it the bullet marks in Leopold or the guarded cautious glances you catch being thrown across the shoulders they are all a reminder. Taj Hotel with its rigorous security checks and a stone in memory of all those who lost their lives, functions every day but one glance at the sky at the main gate shows you smears of the blood and the recollection comes swiftly.
Ajmal Kasab, the only living accused captured is still undergoing trial. The proceedings started on May 6, 2009. While we were flooded with assurances of him receiving extreme death penalty, what conclusions can be drawn from him still being here? The drama doesn’t seem to end. It might have started with his lawyer’s house being pelted and her giving up the case and another lawyer stepping in. the flip flop about his nationality seems to amuse most. The politics and blame game became more highlighted with Chidambaram’s latest statement. But does the public really need to be reminded of the tragedy by reading about his demands for perfume and evening walks or him shifting jails? Starting with DNA tests to determine his age, the absurdity of it all seems to escape the notice of too many.
David Headley’s arrest on October 3rd is a feat no less but now the flames are rising and who from Bollywood might get burnt hasn’t been disclosed yet. Emran Hashmi has denied all allegations and Rahul Bhatt is doing the same. This recent slur has created quite a storm. Mahesh Bhatt’s son is a fitness instructor and has reiterated his cooperation with the police. So close to the heels of the ghastly event completing one whole year, Bollywood’s glitz is scraping open wounds.
Shivraj Patil, the home minister of India who had resigned taking "moral responsibility" for the incident continues to be a member of the Rajya Sabha. He is still a respected functionary of his party. Although he valued his wardrobe more than the nation’s suffering at that time apparently, Ashok Chavan, the current Chief Minister of the state values Patils’ opinion still. Congress - NCP combine the serving government during the terror attacks continue to be in power. Vilasrao Deshmukh the Chief Minister at the time of Mumbai attacks is now the Minister of Heavy Industries and Public Enterprises and by all accounts enjoying being a cabinet minister. RR Patil, the home minister who had resigned from his post in the aftermath of the Mumbai attacks, has been reinstated as the home minister. What really has changed? Our political parties and leaders are faring the same way, it is only the one who steps into the crowded subway repressing the fear.
Are we enlightened? Currently only of the fact that a police officer goofed up in labeling articles that were seized from Taj Hotel and Nariman House. Aren’t we careful?
While we all wonder are we ready, the waves at Gateway of India continue to crash and the crowd at Leopold’s continues to cheer, a tear is wiped away by the mourners.
Friday, November 6, 2009
Apology and a foodies contribution
I sincerely apologise for my oh so long absence. I don't want to cite excuses so I will just rely on the generosity of your heart to forgive me. So let me upload an article I wrote recently and give you options to eat in Vasant Kunj.
Eat your heart out in Vasant Kunj
Amidst the splendor of DLF Emporio, Grand Hotel and TERI University, lies one of Delhi’s most posh colonies: Vasant Kunj. Jawaharlal Nehru University and Vasant Vihar are its neighbours. South Delhi’s prominent neighbourhood was Sushmita Sen’s own home place and one of the closest residential areas to Indira Gandhi International airport. But this sprawling region has a few places tucked in for a foodie’s palate. Ignoring the obvious choices in the malls and hotels, make your way to these small diamonds hidden in the mines.
Chinese:
Nan King
One of the most popular cuisines and Delhi’s most favoured food is available here as well. Vasant Kunj is the locale in which Nanking is situated. A king’s meal is precisely what they offer. Nanking is one of the few places which are not so far out of the common man’s reach and the fare is simply splendid. If what you are looking for is non- ‘chinjabi’ food, this is the place to go to. The restaurant is stylishly decorated and serves the eclectic flavours, Chinese food lovers demand. It is not light on the pocket but it is not going to burn a hole either. A meal for two can cost anywhere between Rs.1200 to Rs.1500 but don’t let your stomach rule or the weight in the pocket can turn into a roaring rip. Don’t even think about leaving without trying the vegetarian steamed wontons which arrive on a simmering pot and tantalize the taste buds. Non vegetarians need not fret because where it lacks in creativity for the vegetarians it makes up in the exotic menu it presents for your ilk. Red Snapper fish, softshell crabs, Tiger prawns, Roast Pork Chilly are just a few that will make you come back again. While the Nanking feast is basically stewed rice, the claypot rice is a delicacy in itself. Don’t bother to get your chopsticks (they will give you a pair) just rush to get a bite of this sumptuous spread.
China Bowl
Delhi food in its true colour is street food and there are many who will swear by ‘chinjabi’ food and balk at the idea of bland Chinese. If you fall into this group, don’t worry China Bowl is here to serve. This van is parked at the entrance of Ansal Shopping Arcade in the middle of two florists and still the aroma from them overpowers the one the flowers emanate. This is where your true love for food comes to test. You will ignore the grime and the questionable chefs and just concentrate on the food. You will not be disappointed. The quantity is more than you can handle and the price for a meal for two is less than what 5 litres of petrol costs you. Typical of all hawker vans that are common in residential colonies, this one lives up to the image to the hilt. Everything is available half plate, a lot of noise, service in cars and excessive spices. The chilly paneer dry at Rs.70 is a must in your selection of appetizer. The menu has equal listings under the vegetarian and non vegetarian columns. The mixed Singapore chowmein at Rs.65 is surprisingly well prepared keeping the joint in mind but with the wintry chill just setting in, the thukpas in the range on Rs.50- Rs.65 can become your buddies to wade through the weather. Just call and hear them say hello.
Mughlai:
Flaming Mustard
This restaurant on Aruna Asaf Ali Marg surely will fan your appetite. A quaint staircase leads you to this three cuisine serving place. An ex Maurya chef adds to their glamour quotient but the warmth of a family restaurant simply radiates and invites you in. Away from the glares of shopping arcades or malls although it is right opposite Fortis Hospital but be assured you won’t run there because of them. Italian, Chinese and Indian (they call it that instead of Mughlai) are presented with aplomb here. While the garlic breads, creamy mushroom pasta and lamb shepherd pie rule the Italian portion, three treasure vegetables in ginger sauce, Crispy Baby Corn Mushroom and Shredded chicken in black bean sauce reign the Chinese section. The Indian quite simply takes the cake away and devours it. The golden corn and paneer seekh is simply delicious and adequately priced at Rs.175. The murgh malai kebab is prepared so well, it can bring tears to a true foodie’s eyes while the succulent chicken and spices explode the taste in your mouths. Chicken burra and Dal meloni are two other things that your order can’t be finalized without. The naans are crispy and perfect for accompanying the gravies. Gulab jamun or Italian cake is your choice. Load up the family car, drive down and your family of four can walk away with a full belly and a bill of Rs.1500.
Rahim’s Mughal Darbar
This one promises to be a royal meaty affair. Although they have branches in kalkaji, West Patel Nagar and dwarka, residents of vasant kunj are regulars at this joint. When you hear the name, your mind rolls back to media coverage of the name controversy with the age old karim’s of Jama Masjid but don’t let this bog you down. At the entrance, a well dressed durbaan (guard) and a gramophone greet you. The setting is simple and the music is from the radio. But the food is fit for a feast. Nothing against their paneer but make the most of your visit, leave the vegetarians behind and as peace offering take their delicious phirni priced at Rs.35 back for them. A meal for two at this non vegetarian heaven will be Rs.750 but worth every penny if you know what to order. The shahjani kebab and tandoori barra are a lip smacking start to what promises to be a great meal. Savour the taste and move on to Karahi Murgh Peshawari, Jahangiri murgh and Firdausi Qorma. Their biryanis are their crowning glory as they were proud hosts of a biryani festival sometime back so whether it’s the Zafrani or the Matka biryani that you chose to have, do eat your fill. Baqarkhani (Sheer Maal) is a delicacy in itself; some bread is just made that way while the tandoori rotis are enticing as well akin to Rahim’s only.
Rocky’s Chick ‘N’ Fish
This bird is flying high. It is not everyday you call a open air dhaba cum restaurant and a fluent English speaking 25 year old picks up the phone but that’s how it is at this eatery. Neighbour to the above mentioned china bowl, they have a seating arrangement for 24 people and a visible to all tandoor. Recently they expanded to Chinese cuisine but mughlai is the clear winner here. The chicken lehsuni tikka is the best of the lot. Mutton dahi wala is a promising part of the menu. Vegetarians need not fret at this joint as they offer many options to them as well. The mutter methi malai is the tonic every vegetarian needs to taste. A meal for two here is Rs400.
Sweet tooth:
Stressed spelt backwards is dessert. A much needed end to a good meal. While the restaurants have their own fare, you can step into DLF Place Promenade for gelato, nirula’s for icecream or in Angel’s in my kitchen for a pastry but if you are interested in what Vasant Kunj’s indigenous bakeries have to offer get into the vehicle of your choice or march afoot to grab your share of sweetness.
New Cake Palace:
Definitely the new kid on the block but it is already popular with its eye grabbing display board and attentive staff. The chocolate truffle simply melts in your mouth. If you are not in the mood for the usual, go ahead and try strawberry, blueberry or butterscotch at Rs.25 a piece it surely won’t hurt. The walnut finger is something which you won’t find at any neighbourhood bakery and it costs you only Rs.10 more than the strawberry. The bakery section is well stocked and the masala garlic bread alongwith the assorted cookie pack are hot favourites they tell me.
Bunny’s Pastry Shop
Some shops are so old and integral to your lives, you forget to deviate. That is the case with bunny’s. Central Market, Masudpur is home to this shop. A large area with good lighting works well to display their products. With a wide variety of chocolates, rusks, cookies and snacks. It is the big daddy in this neighbourhood. A chocolate pyramid costs you Rs.22 and serves its purpose. But have their kiwi pastry if you want to taste something different. Nothing is more than Rs.40 in the snacks and pastry section but serves everyone in the family. Waltz in and out with a bag of gastronomic goodies.
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Disgusting Despicable Men
I needed time to collect my thoughts on this and then get my laptop to write this.
I let all of it simmer since morning. And finally took the time out to write and hopefully express some of my feelings on the subject. A question that I know has bothered and rendered sleepless nights to women over centuries. What makes men quite simply men?! What makes them these, disgusting, weak, pathetic, horrible, sick, useless, perverse wastes of humanity?! Seriously Why? As women we are entitled to our lives. But everyday, every minute we ignore or experience eve teasing. Even in the mildest form it is disgusting and violation. These puny, sick, ruled by parts other than their brains, puke worthy men exude it with such gusto you would think they were getting medals. Agreed the question wouldn't be answered in a thesis and would leave as frazzled as before. As a person who walks on the streets everyday and uses public transport to travel I am well aware of the Delhi men and what they consider their wily ways. Isn't it true? I mean who else but seriously demented Delhi men would consider changing lanes in fast moving traffic to honk at you and make lewd gestures, who else would fathom making loud kissing noises across the street, who else would drive with their heads swiveling in your direction and the cherry on the top who else would consider it flattering to the female population!? Except these forms of vermin my friends. I am sure they walk back home with puffed up chests and expect applause. Pea brained pus balls. But to get back to the public transport bit. Many of my classmates would agree that they face worse men everyday and I surely can't disagree. Yes. Unfortunately they are like cockroaches. Everywhere. I have experienced it too and have learned to pick my battles and ignore the others. But today seems to have stuck and thus I vent. I walk ten minutes to get an auto/bus everyday.As I made the familiar journey today I encountered a specimen of the race which I wouldn't step on If it was in front of me. After all I love my shoes. Since I had committed the crime of wearing a knee length skirt I expected the stares. But since this is my residential area I just shrugged and kept walking. The surprise came when the moron actually clicked me with his cronies and these people would not even know how to spell cronies If I went and asked. Now my question is If I am walking It isn't a clear picture. By the not so aromatic aura they exuded I am sure the camera phone was cheaper than the chappals he had on. So obviously It probably just has a blur and a thumbnail version of that too. What I want to know is what the hell is he going to do with it!? Just tell me what. SO the purpose was to just bug me in the morning and make me uncomfortable. Round of applause for that one you despicable worse than garbage example of the human race. I am seriously aggrieved. How do their brains work?! What actually makes them think that women enjoy it. And whoever is citing the 'you call for it when you dress like that' argument in their small minds let me say you deserve a punch in your gut. How many women do you see staring at men when they run around in their vests and horrible towels with questionable flaps showing off their armpit hair as prizes on a public street?!Not only that but as women we are aware where to draw the line. Fine. I will not generalise. I know where to stop. I do not think marching into college and public streets with hot pants on is my cup of tea. I can't even carry it off for Christs sake.I am an average girl. Definitely not a runway model replica who warrants the attention. What I am getting at is no matter what you wear, you will be the object of humiliation. What would happen if the situation was reversed?! WAIT! I forgot who I was talking about. These Delhi men would bask in the glory, consider it the utmost compliment, enjoy every minute and then call us sluts as we turn our backs. Only if their vocabulary runs to that word. Am I being elitist by showing my anger towards these men who in all probability belonged to a certain income bracket. Since they don't consider that before making their grand gestures why should I. As some of my anger is cooling. I shall just add that all Delhi men I am sure are not like this. I am sure some are genuinely sincere people with respect for others. But sadly some encounters have left my belief shaken. But I hope I meet them soon. SO that my opinion changes sooner.
I let all of it simmer since morning. And finally took the time out to write and hopefully express some of my feelings on the subject. A question that I know has bothered and rendered sleepless nights to women over centuries. What makes men quite simply men?! What makes them these, disgusting, weak, pathetic, horrible, sick, useless, perverse wastes of humanity?! Seriously Why? As women we are entitled to our lives. But everyday, every minute we ignore or experience eve teasing. Even in the mildest form it is disgusting and violation. These puny, sick, ruled by parts other than their brains, puke worthy men exude it with such gusto you would think they were getting medals. Agreed the question wouldn't be answered in a thesis and would leave as frazzled as before. As a person who walks on the streets everyday and uses public transport to travel I am well aware of the Delhi men and what they consider their wily ways. Isn't it true? I mean who else but seriously demented Delhi men would consider changing lanes in fast moving traffic to honk at you and make lewd gestures, who else would fathom making loud kissing noises across the street, who else would drive with their heads swiveling in your direction and the cherry on the top who else would consider it flattering to the female population!? Except these forms of vermin my friends. I am sure they walk back home with puffed up chests and expect applause. Pea brained pus balls. But to get back to the public transport bit. Many of my classmates would agree that they face worse men everyday and I surely can't disagree. Yes. Unfortunately they are like cockroaches. Everywhere. I have experienced it too and have learned to pick my battles and ignore the others. But today seems to have stuck and thus I vent. I walk ten minutes to get an auto/bus everyday.As I made the familiar journey today I encountered a specimen of the race which I wouldn't step on If it was in front of me. After all I love my shoes. Since I had committed the crime of wearing a knee length skirt I expected the stares. But since this is my residential area I just shrugged and kept walking. The surprise came when the moron actually clicked me with his cronies and these people would not even know how to spell cronies If I went and asked. Now my question is If I am walking It isn't a clear picture. By the not so aromatic aura they exuded I am sure the camera phone was cheaper than the chappals he had on. So obviously It probably just has a blur and a thumbnail version of that too. What I want to know is what the hell is he going to do with it!? Just tell me what. SO the purpose was to just bug me in the morning and make me uncomfortable. Round of applause for that one you despicable worse than garbage example of the human race. I am seriously aggrieved. How do their brains work?! What actually makes them think that women enjoy it. And whoever is citing the 'you call for it when you dress like that' argument in their small minds let me say you deserve a punch in your gut. How many women do you see staring at men when they run around in their vests and horrible towels with questionable flaps showing off their armpit hair as prizes on a public street?!Not only that but as women we are aware where to draw the line. Fine. I will not generalise. I know where to stop. I do not think marching into college and public streets with hot pants on is my cup of tea. I can't even carry it off for Christs sake.I am an average girl. Definitely not a runway model replica who warrants the attention. What I am getting at is no matter what you wear, you will be the object of humiliation. What would happen if the situation was reversed?! WAIT! I forgot who I was talking about. These Delhi men would bask in the glory, consider it the utmost compliment, enjoy every minute and then call us sluts as we turn our backs. Only if their vocabulary runs to that word. Am I being elitist by showing my anger towards these men who in all probability belonged to a certain income bracket. Since they don't consider that before making their grand gestures why should I. As some of my anger is cooling. I shall just add that all Delhi men I am sure are not like this. I am sure some are genuinely sincere people with respect for others. But sadly some encounters have left my belief shaken. But I hope I meet them soon. SO that my opinion changes sooner.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Against my will
I don’t want you
And still you haunt
I don’t particularly like you
But still I see u around
Why does it have to be like this
I don't know
If I had the answers conversation would flow
But here I stand glaring at u
While u give me the serene smile
It grates my anger stays
The target undecided
For whom to aim I am not sure
Is it my stupidity that I stand like this
Bereft and confused
Or is it your manipulation that the maze is never ending
So we can’t find a way out
Stuck in time which churns and surrounds
All I know this wasn’t going to happen
Hadn’t I heard so many things
Lightning doesn’t strike the same place twice
Getting bitten by the same bug twice
Oh not so nice
But as I know I don’t want you
What I fathom is unimaginable
I agree that I yearn
In the darker hours of night
When I sleep and you rule
I let myself wish
I let my imagination run free
And all the happiness I find
Remains in the twilight zone of dreams
And still you haunt
I don’t particularly like you
But still I see u around
Why does it have to be like this
I don't know
If I had the answers conversation would flow
But here I stand glaring at u
While u give me the serene smile
It grates my anger stays
The target undecided
For whom to aim I am not sure
Is it my stupidity that I stand like this
Bereft and confused
Or is it your manipulation that the maze is never ending
So we can’t find a way out
Stuck in time which churns and surrounds
All I know this wasn’t going to happen
Hadn’t I heard so many things
Lightning doesn’t strike the same place twice
Getting bitten by the same bug twice
Oh not so nice
But as I know I don’t want you
What I fathom is unimaginable
I agree that I yearn
In the darker hours of night
When I sleep and you rule
I let myself wish
I let my imagination run free
And all the happiness I find
Remains in the twilight zone of dreams
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Who is me?
Looking for an identity
What can I claim to be
How hard is it going to be find my category
A free bird soars the sky
But then it doesn’t have to think about our society
The feeling is troubling
When at 19 you can’t decide the definition of me
Was I the one a month ago
Was it an alter ego..
That person has been around for the 19 years
But then the other one rears its head
Nasty and venomous at times
With shades of the chirpy girl who she used to be..
Practical and sensibility is the aim
But how will I fair
If lost I already feel
Aren’t they both sides of me
So how can I hate one and aspire to be the other on who used to be me
Is it a phase I don’t know
But I still look for pieces of me deep below
The embers of the glorious fire I can still see
Same as when they died and couldn’t find a saviour
How important is it to find one I query
But all the emptiness just makes the question echo back to me
I could try and work with both..
But I need to build up the strength
Since it appears I will be the end of me
I have heard and seen all my problems
All the things I couldn’t be
So many wishing I could make them laugh
How I ask desperately when it isn’t left in me
The balance I crave I earlier used to strike
But now it is beyond my reach
Maybe I have become what I shouldn’t be
My work my force my only merit is not worthy
My love my companionship myself sadly lacking
How do I move forward when all the linkages are weighing me down
How do I give you a smile when I want to curl up and cry
And the traitorous tears refuse to come
Alas I can’t shed the burden
No anchor for me
No place to lean
Weary I wander for some peace
It used to be easier to push myself aside
If I couldn’t make you forget what good would I be doing
But as the dark swirls around I can see it overshadow me
For I don’t know who to be, what to feel and how to see
What can I claim to be
How hard is it going to be find my category
A free bird soars the sky
But then it doesn’t have to think about our society
The feeling is troubling
When at 19 you can’t decide the definition of me
Was I the one a month ago
Was it an alter ego..
That person has been around for the 19 years
But then the other one rears its head
Nasty and venomous at times
With shades of the chirpy girl who she used to be..
Practical and sensibility is the aim
But how will I fair
If lost I already feel
Aren’t they both sides of me
So how can I hate one and aspire to be the other on who used to be me
Is it a phase I don’t know
But I still look for pieces of me deep below
The embers of the glorious fire I can still see
Same as when they died and couldn’t find a saviour
How important is it to find one I query
But all the emptiness just makes the question echo back to me
I could try and work with both..
But I need to build up the strength
Since it appears I will be the end of me
I have heard and seen all my problems
All the things I couldn’t be
So many wishing I could make them laugh
How I ask desperately when it isn’t left in me
The balance I crave I earlier used to strike
But now it is beyond my reach
Maybe I have become what I shouldn’t be
My work my force my only merit is not worthy
My love my companionship myself sadly lacking
How do I move forward when all the linkages are weighing me down
How do I give you a smile when I want to curl up and cry
And the traitorous tears refuse to come
Alas I can’t shed the burden
No anchor for me
No place to lean
Weary I wander for some peace
It used to be easier to push myself aside
If I couldn’t make you forget what good would I be doing
But as the dark swirls around I can see it overshadow me
For I don’t know who to be, what to feel and how to see
Monday, July 27, 2009
As I see a way
As I see a way
I need to step back
I need to move away
The familiar glitches and paranoia I feel
All the while I thought I had moved on to better things
Stupidity and foolishness have brought me here
To the place which is joyous for many and I despair
Don’t get me wrong it wasn’t always like this
Neither was I but life makes you learn more lessons than one
I still believe in the magic of heart and the power of love
But I is matter I have left to the one above
Bitter and cynical I am not but I had expected to be wise
But here I am sensing the same pattern again
The whole mass of confusion raring
100 thoughts in my head blaring
Can’t believe I am dumb enough to land at the same door
When there is nothing to be done
There is only one way I se
To be brave and stick it out
To walk away from all I feel
To lock my wishes in the deepest trunk and throw the key far away
For I know it cannot be
As I see the idiocy
It should have been simpler
It might have been easier
Maybe happiness it would have lead to
But as the whirlwind plans to cart me off
Before the crucial time can pass
I shall lock the trunk and dispose of the key
For I know it is not to be
and i wish for time to fade it away
coz i will never agree
to see it completely washed away
I need to step back
I need to move away
The familiar glitches and paranoia I feel
All the while I thought I had moved on to better things
Stupidity and foolishness have brought me here
To the place which is joyous for many and I despair
Don’t get me wrong it wasn’t always like this
Neither was I but life makes you learn more lessons than one
I still believe in the magic of heart and the power of love
But I is matter I have left to the one above
Bitter and cynical I am not but I had expected to be wise
But here I am sensing the same pattern again
The whole mass of confusion raring
100 thoughts in my head blaring
Can’t believe I am dumb enough to land at the same door
When there is nothing to be done
There is only one way I se
To be brave and stick it out
To walk away from all I feel
To lock my wishes in the deepest trunk and throw the key far away
For I know it cannot be
As I see the idiocy
It should have been simpler
It might have been easier
Maybe happiness it would have lead to
But as the whirlwind plans to cart me off
Before the crucial time can pass
I shall lock the trunk and dispose of the key
For I know it is not to be
and i wish for time to fade it away
coz i will never agree
to see it completely washed away
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