Disgusting Despicable Men

I needed time to collect my thoughts on this and then get my laptop to write this.
I let all of it simmer since morning. And finally took the time out to write and hopefully express some of my feelings on the subject. A question that I know has bothered and rendered sleepless nights to women over centuries. What makes men quite simply men?! What makes them these, disgusting, weak, pathetic, horrible, sick, useless, perverse wastes of humanity?! Seriously Why? As women we are entitled to our lives. But everyday, every minute we ignore or experience eve teasing. Even in the mildest form it is disgusting and violation. These puny, sick, ruled by parts other than their brains, puke worthy men exude it with such gusto you would think they were getting medals. Agreed the question wouldn't be answered in a thesis and would leave as frazzled as before. As a person who walks on the streets everyday and uses public transport to travel I am well aware of the Delhi men and what they consider their wily ways. Isn't it true? I mean who else but seriously demented Delhi men would consider changing lanes in fast moving traffic to honk at you and make lewd gestures, who else would fathom making loud kissing noises across the street, who else would drive with their heads swiveling in your direction and the cherry on the top who else would consider it flattering to the female population!? Except these forms of vermin my friends. I am sure they walk back home with puffed up chests and expect applause. Pea brained pus balls. But to get back to the public transport bit. Many of my classmates would agree that they face worse men everyday and I surely can't disagree. Yes. Unfortunately they are like cockroaches. Everywhere. I have experienced it too and have learned to pick my battles and ignore the others. But today seems to have stuck and thus I vent. I walk ten minutes to get an auto/bus everyday.As I made the familiar journey today I encountered a specimen of the race which I wouldn't step on If it was in front of me. After all I love my shoes. Since I had committed the crime of wearing a knee length skirt I expected the stares. But since this is my residential area I just shrugged and kept walking. The surprise came when the moron actually clicked me with his cronies and these people would not even know how to spell cronies If I went and asked. Now my question is If I am walking It isn't a clear picture. By the not so aromatic aura they exuded I am sure the camera phone was cheaper than the chappals he had on. So obviously It probably just has a blur and a thumbnail version of that too. What I want to know is what the hell is he going to do with it!? Just tell me what. SO the purpose was to just bug me in the morning and make me uncomfortable. Round of applause for that one you despicable worse than garbage example of the human race. I am seriously aggrieved. How do their brains work?! What actually makes them think that women enjoy it. And whoever is citing the 'you call for it when you dress like that' argument in their small minds let me say you deserve a punch in your gut. How many women do you see staring at men when they run around in their vests and horrible towels with questionable flaps showing off their armpit hair as prizes on a public street?!Not only that but as women we are aware where to draw the line. Fine. I will not generalise. I know where to stop. I do not think marching into college and public streets with hot pants on is my cup of tea. I can't even carry it off for Christs sake.I am an average girl. Definitely not a runway model replica who warrants the attention. What I am getting at is no matter what you wear, you will be the object of humiliation. What would happen if the situation was reversed?! WAIT! I forgot who I was talking about. These Delhi men would bask in the glory, consider it the utmost compliment, enjoy every minute and then call us sluts as we turn our backs. Only if their vocabulary runs to that word. Am I being elitist by showing my anger towards these men who in all probability belonged to a certain income bracket. Since they don't consider that before making their grand gestures why should I. As some of my anger is cooling. I shall just add that all Delhi men I am sure are not like this. I am sure some are genuinely sincere people with respect for others. But sadly some encounters have left my belief shaken. But I hope I meet them soon. SO that my opinion changes sooner.

Against my will

I don’t want you
And still you haunt
I don’t particularly like you
But still I see u around
Why does it have to be like this
I don't know
If I had the answers conversation would flow
But here I stand glaring at u
While u give me the serene smile
It grates my anger stays
The target undecided
For whom to aim I am not sure
Is it my stupidity that I stand like this
Bereft and confused
Or is it your manipulation that the maze is never ending
So we can’t find a way out
Stuck in time which churns and surrounds
All I know this wasn’t going to happen
Hadn’t I heard so many things
Lightning doesn’t strike the same place twice
Getting bitten by the same bug twice
Oh not so nice
But as I know I don’t want you
What I fathom is unimaginable
I agree that I yearn
In the darker hours of night
When I sleep and you rule
I let myself wish
I let my imagination run free
And all the happiness I find
Remains in the twilight zone of dreams

Who is me?

Looking for an identity
What can I claim to be
How hard is it going to be find my category
A free bird soars the sky
But then it doesn’t have to think about our society
The feeling is troubling
When at 19 you can’t decide the definition of me
Was I the one a month ago
Was it an alter ego..
That person has been around for the 19 years
But then the other one rears its head
Nasty and venomous at times
With shades of the chirpy girl who she used to be..
Practical and sensibility is the aim
But how will I fair
If lost I already feel
Aren’t they both sides of me
So how can I hate one and aspire to be the other on who used to be me
Is it a phase I don’t know
But I still look for pieces of me deep below
The embers of the glorious fire I can still see
Same as when they died and couldn’t find a saviour
How important is it to find one I query
But all the emptiness just makes the question echo back to me
I could try and work with both..
But I need to build up the strength
Since it appears I will be the end of me
I have heard and seen all my problems
All the things I couldn’t be
So many wishing I could make them laugh
How I ask desperately when it isn’t left in me
The balance I crave I earlier used to strike
But now it is beyond my reach
Maybe I have become what I shouldn’t be
My work my force my only merit is not worthy
My love my companionship myself sadly lacking
How do I move forward when all the linkages are weighing me down
How do I give you a smile when I want to curl up and cry
And the traitorous tears refuse to come
Alas I can’t shed the burden
No anchor for me
No place to lean
Weary I wander for some peace
It used to be easier to push myself aside
If I couldn’t make you forget what good would I be doing
But as the dark swirls around I can see it overshadow me
For I don’t know who to be, what to feel and how to see